Dissection of Pain!

WHAT EXACTLY IS PAIN??

The pain you experience is nothing but blocks of energy which are not allowed to flow or simply stagnated energy. 

The pain that one experiences starts accumulating right from childhood, manier times even before birth in the womb. Each time since early childhood, when we stopped the flow of energy in a painful event , we froze that event in both energy and time. This is what we call as a block in our Auric field.

Since the auric field is composed of energy consciousness, a block is created of frozen energy consciousness. 

The part of our Psych remains frozen until we have healed it or made peace with it fully. No matter how much our body and mind grows, that particular psych still continues to be frozen and stuck. Its not a co-incidence how even "old" or mature people can be stuck in certain issues which comes out in a form of reaction and emotional bursts, WHEN POKED. This frozen psych will not mature until it is healed by getting enough energy to initiate the maturation process.

The famous phrase "move on" or "grow up" precisely represents the above.

This concept is very well explained by Eckhart Tolle in the form of "emotional pain bodies"

Every emotional pain body that you experience leaves behind a residue of pain that lives on in the person. It merges with the pain from the past , which was already there and becomes lodged in your mind and body. This accumulated pain is a negative energy field that occupies your body and mind, this is known as the emotional pain body.

A pain body maybe dormant 90% of the time; in a deeply unhappy person though, it maybe active 100% of the time. some people live almost entirely through their pain-body, while others may experience it only in certain situations linked with past loss or abandonment, physical or emotional hurt and so on. 

Anything can trigger it, particularly if it resonates with a pain pattern from your past.

when its ready to awaken from its dormant stage , even a thought or an innocent remark made by someone close to you can activate it.

Some pain bodies are obnoxious but relatively harmless, for ex like a child who won't stop whining. others are vicious and destructive monsters. some are physically violent ; many more emotionally violent. some will attack people around you , while others may attack you their host.

The scribble of my Silhouette

Kanha will be fulfilled in Radha's gaze
the sun will be always be bright in its burning blaze


but I?
I only in your eye's topaze..
I exist parts of your unfathomable being
I crumble on the topography of your vision,
like ghost haunting the dawns and dusks in an infinity maze.

where is your home?
 tell me ohh eternal roamer

let the eagle be chained to the skies
and worms to this soil
your with descend into me, and me would ascend into you
like molten chocolate metamorphosing into solid bricks and then thin like water
just to get the bliss of being in countless forms yet the same

so go on, tell those lying thoughts of yours..
that  even your dirt has refused to leave me, as it lays on my shrine
tell those fluttery social flies, that even the mightiest storm couldn't extract that very "dirt"
from my shrine..

the chemicals of your brain re-act or over-act or submerge completely each time im away just a mile..
and you still think that my complex being each night doesnt walk with you down aisle?

MIRROR REVELATIONS

BECAUSE THE OPPOSITES RUN THE SHOW

As infants, we are all born vulnerable and completely dependent on others. We have basic physiological and psycho-social needs, desires and even spiritual values that must be fulfilled in order to live, to develop our bodies, to be safe, to belong, to have personal integrity, and to eventually enjoy a sense of fulfilled purpose in life.

As a psychological being, we have inner parts of ourself whose whole reality is the vulnerable experience of our needs and innate values. If our needs are successfully met, these vulnerable selves feel contentment and satisfaction, not having our needs met causes these same inner selves pain and suffering.

Generally, a person will identify with one quality to the exclusion of its opposite in a given context. For example your personality and attitude keeps changing with different people.

AND mostly people start identifying with one particular personality and mistake it for their identity. This identified personality type is known as the Primary self or power self.

These powerful or primary selves are governed by beliefs we form from our perception and experience, learned patterns of holding or expressing our physical and emotional energies, and on our instinctual drives for survival.

On the other hand, our inner selves or disowned selves are revealed in our outer habits, ideas, body language and our inner experience as somatic and energy-body experience, dream and fantasy figures. The purpose of our power selves is to behave in a way that strives to protect against loss and pain, and to fulfill our survival and our potential to reach deep satisfaction. Again, directly related to each of these inner selves are vulnerable selves who feel the status of our various needs. These disowned selves are deeply seated in your unconscious mind and run all your emotional needs..

Example: a primary personality which has a trait of being very defensive and arrogant has a disowned self which is very vulnerable to pain..

From childhood, our personality (ego) is developed in such a way that it generally becomes identified with meeting certain needs and values over others, depending on the prevailing conditions of our lives. For example, in one household, order, rationality and responsibility may be the ruling values which are taught and enforced. 

A child may find that by aligning himself with those values and behaviors, he is rewarded with praise and acceptance. His own basic need for order is fulfilled as is his need for belonging. When this child expresses his potential for dreaminess, silliness and selfishness, he is directly or indirectly punished. He learns first to not act on his needs for freedom, novelty and autonomy and eventually he may even cease to be aware of these needs.

By tanya kharbanda

Are you A Surgeon?

Most of us are surgeons with ourselves.., we try to eliminate habits, thoughts, feelings, behavior patterns inhabiting within ourselves and often this is replicated even in our day to day life.

How many times do we wish to that our parents, friends, spouse, colleagues , boss or neighbor’s  “eliminate “  or “stop”  a certain behavior or habit ?

This surgeons mentality is now an entity which exists in almost everyone..

And people use different kinds of tools to aid their surgery , like drugs, alcohol, one night stands, short term flings and much more..

The more  ecological , time and effort demanding one’s being  books, courses, seminars, mediation or simply discipline.

Undoubtedly many do succeed in “taming their demons” but many do fail…

Many are successful in controlling their urges, suppressing their thoughts and resisting their feelings but unfortunately they just fall into an invisible pit which is much more dangerous than the ones who fail..

The act of elimination is nothing but suppression and once suppressed they are simply shifted into the unexplored edges of one’s unconscious where they gain more power and invisibly run the show.

They key to freedom does not lie in suppression and control but rather in acceptance and balance..

Our entire universe is a play of balance between alpha &omega, yin &yang , white &black, goodness &evil..

Any difficulty only arises from an imbalance. Our ancient seers had known this universal truth deeply and thus developed the science of Yog, which basically brings equilibrium and balance at all levels in a human being..

To balance is to love…

It implies to embracement, acceptance and convergence of the opposite’s.

Consider the following steps

    

1 1.   Identify all the aspects , behaviors patterns, urges which you would like to simply ‘delete’ from your living.

   

2.   After listing them out , simply accept them as a part of you. ‘Deletion’ or ‘elimination’ can never happen because each thought , emotions, urge, action or habit correspond to distinct energies. Energies can alter their density/intensity but cannot simply vanish at one’s disposal.

    3.   The challenge is to ACCEPT OR TO MAKE PEACE with these energies. This task   can take time , depending upon your resistance . Resistance is a blockage which needs to be released , this is nothing but a strong thought which blocks your ability to embrace all that you despise..

   4.   The strength to drop or let go this resistance ( again no elimination) can be derived from meditation, self help courses, solo trips, neuro linguistic programming , life coaching, prayers

   5.   The following signs appear once all resistance is dropped and complete acceptance has taken place

·      despite your obvious disempowerment or loss in any kind, which is caused by this particular thought , emotion or feeling , you give it space to function without any hate or judgment

·      you are less anxious

·      you feel light

   6.   Embracement ensures balance. And balance ensures transcendence . Once our polarities are balanced and co exist in harmony , you will simply transcend them.

choose wisely..

love ,

tanya kharbanda

who is a human potential development specialist?

A human potential development specialist is different from a life coach , psychologist and counsellor , however inclusive of all of these roles as well.
Each human being is a masterpiece capable to learning, unlearning , experiencing , solving and afcourse achieving anything . The precise qualities of learning, unlearning solving and achieving are fundamentals to bring about change in every spectrum of life whether social, personal or professional..
As potential development specialist it will be my duty to help the client implement these changes step by step to acheive their desired goal or state of being.
 I will be hopping on many roles from a life coach, to a trainer to a counsellor to a therapist simultaneously to bring about a wholistic potential developement in every area of the client's life.

some common myths and FAQS

#1-  we impose our advices or philosophies

Firstly , whatever is exposed to the client is to make his/her choice plate more rich and increased, which was earlier limited . this happens with awareness sessions, where a new dimension of things are exposed to any particular situation..
the primary objective of any activity/session will be to bring empowerment with increased choices and aware consciousness levels..

#2 - the ultimate choice always lies in one's own hands, and no one will be forcing anyone for anything.

#3- analysis  is different from judgement.
analysis is when it is done from a root understanding acceptance , without any labels.. it is simply a process of configuring what is the root cause of person's stuck growth or stuck use of cognitive abilities.

A judgement comes from the root understanding of good, bad ,right or wrong..
however in analysis a choice can either be empowering or disempowering..
Also please note that, a particular choice could be disempowering in one situation however in a different context it could empowering or absolutely be fine.

#methodology for change work- a human potential developement specialist is a very broad proffession, and is not resrticted to bring about change work by conventional psyhcotherapy models or spiritual texts and counselling..
change work methodology could range from anything to a poetry and aggresive dance session to neuro-lingstic programming technologies . The way to evolve is dynamic and huge, thus whatever action promotes towards that direction will be incorporated by the specialist in your customized roadmap for changework and transformation..

#confusion about the destination
The ultimate goal is empowerement and evolution..
A client can choose to to get sessions for just one particular goal or problem in any particular aspect of life or they can choose to get it sessions for 360* evolution .
examples of common goals
1) peak state of mind for exams/important events with learning techniques..
2) anger management
3) low self esteem
4) incomplete feelings without any proper reason..
p.s -One does not need a problem or a reason to feel incomplete or unfullfilled.. it is natural for humans to have it regardless of anything..

5)work life balance
6) crossroad situations or confusion about major life decisions
7) trauma healing and management
8)wholistic medicine treatments(maximum dis-eases are a manifestation of dense accumulated emotions and unresolved issues to which your neurology responds back)

WHAT WILL I DO

• Listen intently to what you say and do not say.
• Reflect back to you the inner passions, values, priorities, talents and obstacles in a clear and objective manner.
• Hold you accountable to your own chosen goals and actions.
• Keep everything you say in the strictest confidence.
• Reveal You to You so you become “The World’s Leading Expert On You”
• Keep you on track until you achieve your coachable goals.

WHAT WILL I NOT DO

• Tell you what to do or not do.
• Give you advice of what you should or should not do.
• Sell or manipulate you to their agendas.
• Bring up the past or allow you to bring up the past.
• Judge you.
• Evaluate you.
• Criticize you.
• Critique you.
• Try to change or correct you.( UNTIL YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOURSELF)
• Make you feel guilty for any reason at all.

children as the best actors

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.” 
― James Baldwin

true isn’t it??

Children are excellent modelers, they model not only their parents constant choices, reactions, behavior patterns but also their unconscious fears, thought process and models of understanding ..

In reality it is the unconscious brain which runs the entire show for everyone regardless of age. The modeled

Or the imitated conditioning is assimilated by the unconscious mind without any safety filters.

And  as the child grows he/she also behave in reverse modeling which is basically a  behavior pattern starkly opposite to that of their parents . They do so as a form of rebellion with conscious awareness.

A belief, emotion or state mind can useful in one situation of life but at the same time it can be harmful in another.

The harmful hurt caused by one model of understanding of a parents result in averse modeling by the child in future, even if that model is required for the situation.

A discord or conflict occurs between 2 different models of understanding when either one or both of them try to impose its superiority and edge over the other.

As a parent / guardian the responsibility of clearing the unconscious and conscious mind’s blockages or disempowering models is an essential part responsible parenting and your unconditional love for your child.

Parents,  struggle daily with their own needs and wants—spiritually, psychologically, and physically—and likewise struggle with their children, as they strive to meet their own needs and wants. they do not want to hinder their individuality or stifle their psycho-spiritual growth; yet, on the other hand, parents who need to set boundaries to provide a safe environment. They want their children to grow into loving, compassionate, caring individuals, but how do we encourage such qualities? Is there a way for them to become parents who manage to walk the razor-edged path of providing a healthy psycho-spiritual environment for children while living in the “real world”?

The answer lies in the examples you set for them. The key is balance…

Can you as individual’s be a  beautiful mixture of emotions with a wisdom of their application in right measure and uphold a model of understanding which is accommodative yet filtered and firm?